The Day I Stopped Trying to Control Everything

When I started my own business in 2020 after working for a firm for eight years, I knew my industry. What I quickly learned was that knowing your profession and knowing how to run a business are two very different things.

Running a business means making decisions constantly—about people, vendors, money, your time and where you want to go next. And no matter how much experience you have, there isn't always an obvious right answer.

Over the years, a few lessons have completely changed the way I approach those decisions.

Trust your gut but ask a lot of questions.

I've learned from the beginning to trust my gut. If something doesn't feel right, I pay attention to it. But I've also learned that trusting your instincts doesn't mean making decisions without doing your homework.

Ask questions. A lot of questions.

When I'm hiring someone, choosing a vendor or delegating an important part of the business, I almost always talk to multiple people or companies. I want to compare what they offer, how they approach the problem and what it feels like to work with them.

Sometimes you don't even know the right questions to ask until you've had a few conversations.

The more information I gather, the easier it becomes to recognize what feels right—and then I trust myself to make the decision.

Your time is one of your most valuable resources.

Time management has become more important with every stage of growth.

There will always be more things I could do in a day than I actually have time to do. I've had to learn that being busy and being productive aren't necessarily the same thing.

I try to ask myself: Does this actually require me? Is this the best use of my time? Is there something I should be doing right now that will have a bigger impact on the business?

And sometimes the answer is that someone else should be doing it.

Train your people. Then trust them.

Delegating is easy to talk about and much harder to actually do.

When you've built something yourself, you're used to having your hands in everything. Sometimes doing something yourself even feels easier than taking the time to teach someone else.

But eventually, that becomes the thing that holds you back.

I've learned how important it is to be thoughtful about the people I let into my circle. Once I find the right people, I invest the time in training them, explaining why we do things the way we do and making sure they understand the expectations.

Then I have to trust them.

You can't truly delegate something while still trying to control every detail. The right people need the opportunity to take ownership, make decisions and grow alongside the business.

You cannot please everyone and that one is still hard.

Customer service has probably taught me one of the more difficult lessons of business ownership: not everyone is going to be a fit for you, your company or the way you do business.

And not everyone is going to like you.

We hear that all the time. You can't please everyone.

It sounds very reasonable until you're the business owner on the receiving end of it.

When you care deeply about your business and your clients, it's hard not to take criticism or the loss of a relationship personally. I still do sometimes.

So I've given myself a rule: I get a day to sulk.

I can be disappointed. I can replay the conversation. I can wonder what I could have done differently.

But the next morning, I have to do something I can control.

Make the call. Have the meeting. Follow up with someone. Fix something that needs fixing. Work on the next idea. Take one proactive step forward.

I've learned that action changes my mindset. The minute I'm moving forward instead of sitting in something I can't change, I feel better.

And almost every time, some light eventually comes out of it. Maybe I learn something. Maybe it forces me to make a change I should have made anyway. Maybe another opportunity shows up. Or maybe I simply realize that losing something that wasn't the right fit created room for something that is.

You don't need to know everything to be a good business owner.

I certainly don't.

What I've gotten better at is knowing when to ask questions, when to trust my instincts, when to delegate, when to protect my time and when to accept that something simply isn't mine to control.

There are decisions I would make differently if I could go back, and I'm sure I'm still learning lessons I'll write about five years from now.

But maybe that's what I've learned most from building a business: you don't ever really arrive.

You learn. You adjust. You surround yourself with good people. You trust yourself a little more than you did before.

And when something knocks you down, give yourself a day to sulk.

Then wake up and do something you can control.

More about Natasha

My name is Natasha Palmatier. I am a wife, a mother of 4, and a certified financial planner. I grew up in the Chicago suburbs and moved to Arizona in 2012. I have been in the financial industry for over a decade. I am proud owner of Sunstone Wealth Management with a team of women. We are located in North Scottsdale. My team is dedicated to lead and inspire our clients to plan for their financial futures, live a joyous life, and prolong their legacy. We offer investment consulting, financial and retirement planning and wealth protection. For fun, I love to travel with my family of 6 in our RV and spend quality time with my girl friends!